Posted in Diary

I’m Quitting My Job

The time has come that I can no longer take the abuse I get working as a retailer. Yesterday when I was at work something happened, and I am at the end of my tether. In fact! My tether is hanging on by a tiny singular thread which is so frayed it’s amazing it’s still even attached at the moment. Customers are mean, rude and basically bullies. They think they are always right, despite the fact that they are trying to break the law (underage and trying to buy cigarettes/alcohol). Then because I am doing my job and requesting valid ID before serving the customer they think it is okay to swear at me and call me names.

I don’t get paid enough for this. I don’t come to work to be abused and called names. I don’t come to work to be bullied by people I don’t even know. I don’t come to work to get stressed out, and feel unsafe. NO-ONE should feel unsafe when they are at work. NO-ONE should be dreading going to work because they are anxious about what is going to happen when they get there.

The drama that we have to deal with is ridiculous. But what’s even worse is when colleagues don’t keep up the same practises as one another. Confusing customers, and therefore creating more issues for us all to deal with.

We shouldn’t have to deal with this. Just because we work in retail doesn’t mean we are obligated to put up with abuse from other people, who, let’s face it, are strangers. If I walked around and treated others the way they treat me in my workplace I would probably be arrested. If I was allowed to retaliate the way that is natural to me when people treat me like I am scum, I would definitely be arrested. I am a feisty redhead, and if you upset me I can,and probably will over react and flip out. I protect myself and my friends, colleagues and most importantly my family. And if I feel like they are in danger I will help them out and stop them from being in the firing line. But I shouldn’t have to ever feel the need to when we are at work.

One customer (who is banned from the shop, and has been for well over a year), is a particular nuisance to our store. At one point he was becoming so cocky that he would walk into the shop, pick up the stuff he wanted get told to leave, and square up to the staff member in charge. Unfortunately my house mate is also a colleague, he moved in with me in the first lockdown as he had to travel from another county to go to work, so moving in with me (who had just split with my ex) seemed like the most logical thing to do. It was a win, win situation as it meant that I was not stuck in lockdown alone, and he got a roof over his head. This however has had it’s fair share of problems with this particular nuisance. He has threatened to attack my home, because 2 of us live there, and has actually attempted to follow my house mate home as well. I have never felt so threatened and worried for my life before. NO! Not my life, ISABELLE’S.

Thankfully for me my uncle is a member of the police force, so I informed him of the situation which has given me some comfort. However it hasn’t solved the problem at work.

Dealing with the “situation”

The area manager came to visit the store the other month for a security and safety check. There is already so much wrong with the building that we work in, but that is a story for another day.

The area manager was in the store doing his visit, and happened to still be there as my shift began. So I vented to him. I told him how I don’t feel safe at work, how I want to leave, how we aren’t paid enough for this and I can’t cope with the stress, anxiety and panic attacks that comes with working in this place.

Thankfully he is also in charge of safety and security of the staff members at our company, so he listened and saw how distraught I was about the way we are treated and the things we have to be put up with. Physical and Verbal abuse is never accepted by anyone and he wasn’t about to let his staff members leave because of the customers.

He managed to get some security things in place for us. A security tag we wear around our necks, with a camera and another person listening and talking to us at the push of a button. He has promised that if the thieves should appear in the shop again he will not reprimand us for the loss of stock, and walked us through how to bug both head office and the police to ensure that security is upped in the store.

This was working really well, and we were starting to feel much better at work, and within ourselves. Until a new family full of unruly and rude people came to town having been driven out of their previous town. And the problems have started again.

I can’t do this anymore, I feel threatened and unsafe when I am at work, and I am constantly curtain twitching anytime I hear anyone outside my house. I am going to quit my job, the stress, anxiety and paranoia that comes with serving particular members of society just isn’t worth it.

That’s all for now.

Rant over.

Much love xx

Posted in Diary

We Forgot to Put the Bins Out!

Hello everyone, this post marks the beginning of my daily blogging of my everyday life, and as usual we are never short of a laugh or a little bit of drama. Hey! That’s families for you.

Well yesterday was bin day, and we are still trying to get rid of the rubbish we have accumulated over Christmas. It would appear that when you have Christmas at home you end up with a lot more rubbish than usual. We had finally got down to 1 more bag to be put in the bin and then we would be officially caught up. We have been using the bins as normal and then throwing in the Christmas rubbish as we put the bin out to be collected.

Well this week! This week has been a bit different, and our normal routine has been all over the place. Two staff members have been on holiday, which has meant we have been working on different days of the week, and with different staff members too. (Shouldn’t really happen due to the pandemic but it can’t be helped in this situation.) So we ended up not remembering what day it is, or what happens on those particular days due to the fact that our routines are completely wrong. Has anyone else had this before, or is it just me?

It’s Thursday morning 9am, and I wake up to the sound of a bin being emptied outside my house. (Isabelle was at her dads as I was working Wednesday Evening), I sit bolt upright, look out the window, and sure enough there is the bin truck collecting the bins. By the time I get downstairs and open my door to send my bin to the end of my drive in the hopes that it is collected, the truck has gone.

Turned out we had the wrong bin out at the end of our drive.

The Black bin. Why did we have the black bin at the end of the drive?

I literally just sat there and laughed.

“Oh well that’s another 2 weeks now before we can get rid of the recycling.” I say to myself (out loud) as I close the front door and creep back upstairs to get dressed and ready for the day ahead of me.

When I tell my house mate what has happened he laughs and takes me into the garden…… there down the side of the house is another 3 bags of recycling that need to be rid, plus the 2 large cardboard boxes we have been using as a recycling bin inside, and then everything we will accumulate over the next fortnight! Yup, we’re going to have recycling rubbish sat in our house for at least 2 months.

So now we have a garden we can’t really sort out because of the recycling, and a bin we cant fill up because it is already over full. Something tells me this year is going to be a year full of silly things like this. I THINK I’M LOSING MY MIND!!!

I honestly can’t wait for lock down to be over. I need to see my family, and I need to be able to get out of this house. I am going stir crazy. The only places I go at the moment (much like everyone else in the country) is work, the school gates and my house, and the occasional food shop in Aldi. I think it’s time for a long break, away from the house.

I hope you enjoyed my story.

Please let me know if you experience anything like this with your day to day jobs.

Much love

Emma xx

Posted in Diary

A Day in the Life of Mum

Being mum can be a little bit monotonous sometimes. We have the same jobs to do, and we usually end up with the same results. Having children brings a lot of chaos, mess and energy. It often leads to a lot of laughter, and fun, but also you can end up with stress.

When having a child the first thing you have to remember is that YOU CANNOT CONTROL EVERYTHING. Even if you try to control something, more often than not that little monkey will have a plan of their own which scuppers anything you have already thoughtfully and lovingly planned out.

I used to plan almost every inch of my day out before having Belle, but after the first few months, despite the fact that I had kept to a routine I learnt that a routine is literally the ONLY thing I could control about my day. Children have no concept of time, they have no concept of how long something takes to do, or of the consequences of their actions. What looks and sounds great on paper is something that a child might not even understand of want to do.

So here is a small insight to a

“normal” day:

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

6:30am – Chaos begins. Belles runs into my bedroom full of life and determined to have that morning cuddle in mummy’s bed before getting up and ready for the day. So in she gets and we have this wonderful sleepy cuddle as we slowly wake up. (by we I mean me.)

7am – Time for us to get dressed, do our teeth and brush our hair (basically just get ready for the day.) I let Belle choose her clothes for the day for when she finishes school and then we migrate downstairs.

7:30 – 8am – Breakfast time, usually a bowl of cereal and a slice of toast for my little one (and if still hungry a banana). For me a cup of tea and slice of toast.

8-8:30am – a couple of cartoons as I clean the kitchen ready for the rest of the day, and then its coats and shoes on, and then we’re off to school.

9am – a little more cleaning of the rest of the house, then a nice sit down with a cup of tea and watching some news. I will also have a shower, do my hair/makeup, so I feel like myself. This is the only time of the day I get to myself so here I like to relax.

11:30am – leave to go and collect Belles from nursery.

Midday – Lunch and a wind down from school for half an hour.

12:30pm – time for some afternoon activities. Anything from baking, lego/duplo, dolls house, arts and crafts. Just whatever I feel like doing for the day with Belle. Occasionally it will be us leaving the house for the day to visit friends or family members, which stops us both from going stir crazy.

During this whole period my house will be destroyed. It will look like a tornado has hit, or like I haven’t even bothered with the house for the last week. It bothers me yes, but as long as Belle is having fun that is what matters.

5:00pm – Dinner time. I start this around 4/4:30pm and then always aim to sit down for dinner at around 5pm. The timings are approximate but the goal is there.

From there on it is our bedtime routine, which consists of a bath which lasts about half an hour. 3 books to read together, and then a song before going to sleep. Once Belle has gone to bed that is when I tidy up any left over toys from the day, clean the kitchen once more, and settle down to write my blog.

My Time with Belle

I love the time I get with Belles and I try to cherish every moment I get. She goes to her dads 3 nights of the week due to my job and the mum guilt I feel is so strong that I feel bad for wasting a day with her. My ultimate goal every day is to have a lot of laughter and things to do so we can have quality time together. Even when we have a movie day and sit in front of the TV I try to make it as special as I can, Popcorn, blankets, and a few little games that we can do.

What I want you all to realise is that no matter how much you want that clean and tidy house, for a child a clean and tidy house is torture. Let them mix their toys up, it encourages their imagination. Let them empty the entire contents of a toy box or drawer – how will they learn about anything if they always have to think about being tidy.

I do have rules in my house, and one of those rules are that if she wants to play with something new and stop playing COMPLETELY with the toys she already has out, then the current toys have to be put away first. However if she was playing with her dolls house and decided that her Lego people wanted to move next door and interact with her dolls house, then GO FOR IT BABY! I love to see a child play properly using their imagination and working out how things can fit together.

The time we get with our little ones is so short that we can’t worry about the mess that they bring, and the state of the playroom/ living room/ bedroom. We should be focusing on them and how their little brains work, encouraging them to do more, and being there for them to help them become the person they are inside.

My role of mum is the most important role that I will ever have. What I decide to do with my little girl shapes her future. I read with her as much as she wants me to, and I join in with her when she is playing. I use arts and crafts and baking to break up monotonous activities, such as TV. I want her mind to be stimulated so she constantly learns.

This is how I run my house. It is definitely going to be different from everyone else, but also similar in some aspects. We are all different and every child is different aswell. Only you as the parent will know what stimulates your children the most, and your daily routines will echo this.

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

Much Love

xx

Posted in Diary

Trick or Treat!

Halloween is just around the corner, and already the discussion with most parents is “trick or treating”.

With Covid-19 still being incredibly prominent in the world at the moment, the general consensus with most parents is that the Trick or Treat tradition is cancelled this year. I have never really liked Halloween. I guess that I just don’t really get why we “celebrate” this day, its the end of October and the end of most harvests leading us into winter. But why do we have one night celebrating all the things that scare a child; witches, zombies, vampires, ghosts etc.

I get that it is an American tradition, but why do we have to celebrate it in the UK. We don’t celebrate other American days such as Independence Day or Thanks Giving.

So what I am starting off to say is that I have never really “got” Halloween, and therefore I have never really “celebrated” it.

Why I am Against Trick or Treating

Photo by Jill Wellington on Pexels.com

My little girl will NEVER go trick or treating. I do not believe that I am being cruel, but I believe that the simple act of going door step to door step begging for sweets goes against many of my beliefs.

  1. We should NEVER take sweets off a stranger!
    • For some reason on Halloween it is acceptable to take sweets off a stranger despite the fact that we teach our children that we shouldn’t ever take sweets off a stranger. I feel this is a little hypocritical.
  2. Knocking on everyone’s doors
    • The elderly especially really hate this season as they have so many people knocking on their doors. They worry about who could be at their door, and whether they are genuine trick or treaters or scum bags attempting to rob them blind.
  3. Children essentially BEG for sweets
    • Are we teaching our children that it’s ok to beg others for food? I don’t like this concept. Also has no one read the story of Hansel and Gretel?! Does no-one remember that it is sweets that are used to lure the children in?
  4. Celebrating the things that SCARE our children
    • This one baffles me the most. Why are we expected to celebrate the things that scare our children most? Why do we encourage them to dress up as the things that make them scream (and not in a good way).
  5. Kids think its fun to EGG Houses
    • This one I do not get at all and it infuriates me. The fact that parents ALLOW their kids to do this and ruin peoples houses and cars is absolutely ridiculous. It makes me wonder if there are any good parents out there at all. The kids that egg houses and cars should be locked up to teach them a lesson.

As I said I DO NOT GET HALLOWEEN! Children should not be expected to celebrate it, and under no circumstance should they be expected to BEG for SWEETS from STRANGERS.

Halloween goes against anything that we as parents teach our children, and yet for some reason it seems to be ok. I’m not ok with this, and on the evening of Halloween you will find me sat in my living room watching the first CHRISTMAS film of the year in the dark. As my preparations for CHRISTMAS start from the beginning of November, for my favourite time of year.

Much Love

Emma x

Photo by Jameel Hassan on Pexels.com

Posted in Diary

Postnatal Depression

It’s been a little over 3 years since I had my little girl, and I am still suffering with Postnatal Depression. The only problem is, that now she is not a baby anymore it can’t really be called “postnatal” anymore.

Whilst I know that it is there, and it can effect me sometimes terribly, I never let it rule who I am. My postnatal depression does not define who I am.

Thousands of women (and men as well) go through some sort of post-baby emotional rollercoaster. Many go undiagnosed and untreated leading to a whole new world of mental health problems. Postnatal depression and anxiety is incredibly common, and some don’t even realise they are suffering until they have been dealing with this overwhelming state of mind for months, or even years.

Sometimes it takes a friend or family member to point it out to you. Sometimes it takes a particularly hard day to open your eyes and realise you need help.

But this is my story!

Photo by Mark Neal on Pexels.com

Effecting My Life

I noticed I was not feeling myself when Belle was just 6months old. I was crying a lot, and feeling constantly overwhelmed and out of my depth. I didn’t really think much of it though. A new baby, a new routine, and a massive change in life, it’s inevitable that you are going to feel overwhelmed and emotionally drained, right?

Apparently not.

Sometimes my mood would be so low that I wouldn’t be able to function. I would have days that I wouldn’t get dressed or even care about myself for weeks. I would be absent from my mind, meaning I was interacting with my daughter but not really paying full attention to everything. It’s a scary thought.

I would obsess over whether or not I was bonding properly with Belle, I would obsess over what I could do better, and how I could do things differently. Then as I realised that what I was feeling ticked all the boxes of Anxiety and Depression a wave of relief came over me, as I realised it was time to get help.

To this day my anxiety and depression effect my daily life.

If I arrange to meet up with someone but they have to cancel I have so many questions that it can really effect me for a few days, as my mood drops drastically.

“why did they cancel?”

“don’t they like spending time with me?”

“Why does everyone do this to me?”

“Is there something wrong with me?”

These are just a few of the questions that go round my head. As you can see, these questions bounce of each other and the more they circle around my head the more I fixate on the possible answers.

I basically end up making up a story in my head about the situation which is in no way at all true.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

This causes problems with my friends and my social life. Because who would want to spend time with someone who is constantly negative?! (see I’m doing it again!)

Feeling depressed and anxious 90% of the time leads you to feel ridiculously isolated and lonely, at a time when you need to be around everyone you know.

It’s tough. But when you notice you going into a drop, this is when GOOD friends are vital for survival.

A good friend will stay with you no matter the thoughts that go through your head. A good friend will constantly be there to help build you back up when you are on a down. Luckily for me I have ONE friend that I can always depend on to help me when I am down.

Reaching Out for Help

I reached out for help multiple times during the last 3 years, with my mood.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I felt let down by the health professionals who are supposed to be there for you in the first year after having a baby. I told them how I was feeling. I told them how it was effecting me. I told the health visitor everything. She put me on a watch list for a few weeks, and then removed me because she only ever saw me on a good day.

I became good at hiding my emotions in public. To friends and family I was happy, and contented with my life. The one person who truly knew me, even believed that I was fine, despite the fact that I had told him everything!

After being ignored and released by the health visitor and doctors, I spent the next year living with depression and learning how to deal with it by myself.

It wasn’t until I split with my Ex that I finally reached out for help again. Due to Covid-19 the Doctor surgeries were asking patients to not suffer alone, and come to them if we notice any signs of depression at all. So I took them up on the chance when I had an appointment for something else. This is when I finally got the help I needed.

I had gained a lot of weight (in my eyes) through comfort eating, I had moved up 2 dress sizes and didn’t feel comfortable with my new size at all. I was constantly fatigued, and was barely functioning as a human being. Finally someone was happy to try and help me.

Their first point of call was to put me on medication – why do medical professionals ALWAYS do this? – I refused as I don’t want to mask the symptoms but deal with the cause.

They took blood tests to check my hormone levels (I don’t even know what for), and they put me in contact with a therapist.

From there on in, I have been fully supported and helped throughout my journey and I am so excited to see my life improve and my relationship with Belle get even stronger as she gets the mum she deserves returning.

You are not alone!

We are all in this together!

It takes a village to raise a child, we cannot do it all alone!

Love you all!

xx

Posted in Diary

I Joined A Dating App

Oh my God!

I joined a dating app and I honestly thought that I was ready.

Apparently not.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I loved the attention and talking to guys getting to know them etc. But when it came down to one guy wanting to meet up with me, I ran. I hid under the duvet in my bedroom and curled up into a ball. He was a great guy, and we totally got on, but I feel so horrible for backing out. I just couldn’t go through with it. I had so many thoughts going through my mind that they became all consuming, and too much for me to deal with.

Perhaps now just isn’t the time.

Or perhaps a dating app isn’t the right way of dating for me. I mean I was talking to a guy that I had met in person and felt much more comfortable with meeting up with him. Was it because I knew what he looked like, what he was like? Or was it just because I already kind of know this guy as we used to go to school together?

I don’t know.

But one thing I do know is that I was not comfortable with the idea of meeting up with a complete stranger! And I’m still not.

It’s funny isn’t it? You can feel really connected with someone over text messages, and the like, but when it comes to meeting up you completely freeze. I never thought that this would be a problem for me. I knew I wanted to start dating again, but perhaps it’s still too soon for me, in terms of meeting a stranger anyway.

Is it my own fault?

The problem for me is that I have a lot of criteria for a man to fall in to, and it’s partly because of the relationship I left, and partly due to being a single mum.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
  1. You should be taller than me, preferably a stubble but not absolutely necessary. (I want to be able to wear heels and not be taller than the guy, I know this makes me kind of shallow? (is that the word) but I want to feel comfortable at all times)
  2. Be good with children. Obviously. I have a daughter and you should be good with children as I can’t be with someone who isn’t and who doesn’t want children.
  3. You should be looking for a long term relationship, NOT a hook up! Yes by opening up an online dating profile I instantly found men who were looking for just a hook up rather than a meaningful relationship. Sorry guys! I’m not that desperate.
  4. Live near me. I can’t move from the town I am in, or at least not too far away. My little girls dad lives in the next town along, and my whole family live close by, they are my rock, I can’t leave them to move to the other side of the country.
  5. You should be fun. Obviously! I want to have a good laugh, go out and have a good time, and not feel like someone shoved into the corner at a party, or like I am forcing a sense of humour out of you.

This is my criteria, but I feel like it’s going to be too much to ask for from a man. Men are simple beings and I have seen a lot of them already run a mile when they find out I have a child. And it breaks my heart.

Plans for the future

So whilst I failed at using a dating app, and actually feeling comfortable with meeting up with someone that I “met” on one. I think that meeting someone in person and having a connection with them (old school like) is probably the best way forward for me.

Part of me thinks that I am slightly reluctant because I know that my Ex is no where near ready to start looking for someone else, despite the fact that I am. I am looking for companionship and someone to spend the evenings with when my little one is asleep. I just want a best friend who is always there for me, rather than someone who is more interested in their work than their family.

Whilst I have been attempting to go back into the world of dating, I think perhaps for now I will leave it. I’m not eager to get back into a relationship, and the thought of it at the moment is quite paralysing. For now I will just sit and wait, something will come to me eventually. (Especially when this lockdown finally eases!!) And I for one, am incredibly excited to see what the future has in store for me.

Much Love xx

Emma xx

Posted in Diary

What’s the Deal With: Paw Patrol

It’s an innocent kids program but there are so many questions that come to mind when watching it.

Firstly, let’s not look at the new series which has just been released! Dinosaurs! seriously, so many questions there. How are the dinosaurs still alive? Do they go back in time when they visit the dinosaurs? Why are there more Turbots there? Where do the Turbots come from? Where does Taylor Turbot go to school, also how does she go to school? Why have we never heard about these Turbots before? Why aren’t the carnivorous dinosaurs a threat to the humans?

Yes, I really do sit there asking myself these questions.

Now to the really juicy bit. Mighty Pups! Could the writers not think of any other story line to make? Why not do an Alien story line, if the meteor hit. That’s surely the most logical. But superhero pups? And how did the meteor know what the pups strengths were, in order to emphasise them? Why do the pups paws glow, didn’t they see their own feet glowing when they got their “powers”.

Ok so now just to the main programme.

#1 dogs can talk – thats not particularly realistic really is it?

#2 only dogs can talk, all other animals are obsolete compared to dogs as they are unable to speak. Unless you are a master criminal CAT

#3 Where does Rider get all that money from, and all the equipment. He must be charging everyone for his services, and at a high premium too. Or perhaps there’s something else going on?

#4 Why aren’t all the children at school? We only see the younger children (Alex, and the twins) go to school, but Daring Danny X, Rider and Katy are all “working” rather than going to school. Aren’t they all like 10 or something?

#5 Where are the police/ fire services/ ambulance etc. Why do the Paw Patrol rule adventure bay?

#6 Why hasn’t Humdinger been jailed yet? He is a criminal and quite frankly not very nice, yet every time he breaks the rules he is let of with a “just yelp for help” in other words he is constantly forgiven, but why?

#7 How did Mayor Goodway get to be Mayor? She’s not particularly good at her job, and every time something goes wrong she has to call the paw patrol. Why? Can’t anyone in this town do something for themselves?

#8 How many bodies (pups and Rider) does it take to change a lightbulb? Every rescue that the paw patrol make seems to take up at least 3 bodies in total. When in reality it could just be done with 1 person, or occasionally 2. Why can’t Rider use a screw driver rather than making a pup do the handy work?

#9 Where are the parents? What has happened to Riders parents? Why don’t we ever see them? or hear about them? Actually come to think of it, where are any of the parents? Alex lives with his grandpa, why? and we never see or hear of any parents, just grandparents if we hear about any family members. do the writers have a problem with parents?

#10 How has Rider got a driving licence? Also how can the dogs drive? How has the town ended up being run by children who can do adult things?

#11 Why do the pups act so surprised when Rider calls them to the lookout when they are standing right next to him as he gets the phone call, or if they are the cause of the problem, or witnessed the problem? It just doesn’t make sense.

Please makers of Paw Patrol can you look into these problems and give us adults a solution or answer in one of your episodes? I feel like we all need this. But most of all, I just want to know WHERE ARE THE PARENTS and WHERE IS THE MONEY COMING FROM!

What questions do you have about Paw Patrol? Are you confused like me?

Much love xx

Posted in Diary

My Baby Started School

How did this happen? She was just a little bundle a few months ago and now she 3 and going to nursery at school!

It’s been an emotional rollercoaster for me, she’s been loving it! Watching my little one go into this new school on her own, not being able to go in and find her peg with her, or make sure she’s set up for the day. I HATE YOU COVID-19!!! I shed a tear or two just watching her walk all by herself. She just looked soo small, and yet grown up in her uniform.

The biggest question I was asking myself though, was WHAT WILL I DO WITH THIS NEW FOUND FREEDOM?!

I decided to make use of the free time I have and work on my posts, so that I can relax in the evenings rather than work all day long. It worked amazingly and still does. Furthermore the few hours I have to myself are the perfect time for me to rejuvenate and do something for me. I dedicate 2 days a week to myself and the rest to housework or my blog. This way I am able to continue to feel me.

I do worry about the effects that Covid-19 will have on our little ones as they go to school. They can’t go in with their parents, they are forced to wash their hands constantly, and goodness knows what actually goes on behind closed doors. Isabelle constantly comes home happy and contented so I guess at least that is a good thing. But you still can’t help but wonder.

After School Activities

When Isabelle returns home from school we have gotten ourselves into a little routine. She comes back home and her lunch will be waiting for her. This isn’t always a lunch of sandwich style meals, but sometimes an evening meal instead. She returns home absolutely starving so it’s always best to feed her straight away for a happy afternoon of activities.

After we finish our lunch she will get changed out of her uniform and our activities for the day begin. This changes every day, sometimes its visiting family members (whilst we can) and sometimes its arts and crafts, and playing. It also tends to be a lot of baking, as when I get bored this is my go to.

Our days go by so quickly and she changes so much day to day. I want to cherish every moment and document everything we do together.

Do they ever slow down in their development? Why do they have to grow so quick? Where has my little baby gone?

One day her enthusiasm for school may change, and I will struggle to get her out of the house to go to school. At the minute she’s pushing me to leave the house (sometimes up to an hour early) as she loves it so much. I also love the fact that every day she has a new best friend. At least I know she’s not going to be like mummy, but instead surrounded by friends who absolutely adore her!

Much love to you all xx

Posted in Diary

Hello and Welcome


Hello and welcome to my small part of the web. My name is Emma and I am a full time single mummy, who loves to write and do all things crafty.

Background

When I was made single, I realised that money was going to be tight and a lot of things were going to be different. Much different.

We fell in love when we were just 14years old, and as we grew into the adults we are today, we grew apart. It took me a long time to realise that while my values in life remained the same (family first, work last) his values had changed. He became obsessed with being the “perfect man” who “can provide for his family.” I wasn’t allowed to earn more than him, he HAD to be the one who earnt more. He became obsessed with work, even down to leaving me on my own to go to France for a week or 2, with 6 weeks to go before I gave birth.

What’s even worse is that he couldn’t even see why that was a problem.

Then when my little one was born I had this immense pressure on me to go back to work. Money was running out, and he realised that he wasn’t going to be able to solely keep the family a float. I went back to work and that’s when we broke down completely.

We hadn’t been in a great place for a few years. And were very good at hiding it. But it was starting to get to me, and I was suffering with postnatal depression and anxiety, which didn’t help the situation.

I realised I just didn’t love this work zombie of a man that I was with anymore. He never wanted to speak to me. He would just sit on his phone or watching TV and not even acknowledge that I am there. I couldn’t cope with the rejection and the lack of a relationship which we had. And when it was my birthday and he wouldn’t even have the time off of work I walked.

In just one act he showed me he wasn’t there for me. In just one act he reassured me that things were never going to change. We just weren’t compatible anymore. I told him it was the only thing I wanted for my birthday. For him to be home with me and our daughter, and instead I was greeted with a day just like any other. Me and my daughter, and a day full of chores.

I know you give things up when you become a mum. It’s part of life. But giving up your birthday seems a bit extreme to me.

Moving Forward

Anyway. Here I am now. Many an argument later, single and much happier than I have ever been. Feeling more like me. Everyone has commented and I seem to have my glow back. Yes, I have lost out on my teenage years, but that doesn’t bother me.

I decided during this #Lockdown that I had had enough of my job. Working in retail you don’t get rewarded or applauded for your efforts at keeping the nation fed. Instead you get spat at, shouted at and called all names under the sun, just for doing your job. Enough is Enough!!!

So one evening I was sat with my little girl beside me after having made our Ice Cream together, and decided that I was going to share my recipes with EVERYONE! and so The Mum Diet was born.

I quickly realised that people were enjoying my recipes and I was enjoying cooking again. (It gets a little boring cooking for one and a half every night). So I thought I would try another Niche, on a separate site, with the same branding. Fashion and Beauty have always been a passion for me. And so The Mum Style was born.

After having both these blogs doing really well, having a great following on social media, I realised that they just simply weren’t bringing in any money, to help me to escape from the world of retail. So then I decided that instead of writing with an intent to earn money, I would just write a kind of diary, about my day to day life with my baby girl. (Don’t worry the other 2 websites are still being updated weekly too, as I said I LOVE WRITING!)

And so here we are. A fresh blog, a fresh start, and a fresh idea.

Let’s make something GREAT together xx